I am not religious and have no desire to start being now but sometimes I just want the community people get with church. I am craving connection with the community and feel it’s very healthy for families and neighbors as well. The United States is seriously lacking in third spaces and communities. It’s leading to a serious loneliness epidemic… Just wondering if there is anything that can fill that need for non-religious folks?
Church without church is just a book club.
Dungeons and dragons
Unitarian Universalism. It is about common social values - you know, stuff like helping your neighbors and whatnot. You don’t have to be a particular religion, just be decent.
Do you live in a city, and do you have hobbies? If you like stuff like anime, go to an anime con, it’s great and how I know a huge amount of my friend group
Take an art class
Probably Freemasons?
There are all kinds of clubs out there depending on where you live and your interests. Even the rotary club is a way to connect and do good work while not being religious.
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Rotary club is just a free masonry recruiting program.
Those bricks aren’t going to lay themselves my guy
Hard working bricks if you know what I mean… 😁😁
Team sports, volunteer work, social clubs, table top rpgs, choir or a band, basically any hobby you do offline in a group,…
Honestly the fact that you have to ask this question kinda shows how broken the society you live in is.
This is what’s called a “third place”. And they’ve been deliberately killed off or commercialized.OP mentioned the lack of third places by name in the post
edit: they said third space, same idea
This is something of the intention of a unitarian church. They use largely judeo Christian imagery but they don’t actually GAF what your beliefs are and are generally open to not necessarily debate but definitely exploration of non-judeo Christian theologies and / or philosophies.
My guy said ‘no religion please’ and y’all still gotta shove it down their throat lol pathological.
Came here to say this. I attend 1-2 times a month and mine has so far taught me about breathing exercises for meditation and the shadow self from Jung. Just a group of great people also searching for community.
UU Church is how I was raised. It’s a boomer conception of religious tolerance. Actually not insane, but also very boring.
Sounds like it’s still oriented to a “spiritualist” at least though, not for someone who isn’t religious. I’m sure they’d be fine if an atheist showed up, but I don’t think I personally would want to be there. I do like learning about religions, but more from a “how has this effected humanity and changed the way they think/behave” standpoint, not from thinking that there’s anything true there.
You’re unlikely (but not impossibly unable) to reap the full benefits of that level of connection to a community completely without spirituality. There are many Hindus and shinto that are functionally atheist and I come from healthcare where atheist chaplains are actually a thing as well.
You are not separate from humanity’s history and attempting to separate yourself from it in this manner won’t by definition harm you, but will require a level of constant attention that I have not found to be worth it. It’s like trying to run the windows version of Firefox or Discord with Wine or a virtual machine just to prove you can. Just run the Linux version, or another program with the same function that is even better designed for the architecture.
I tracked my moods, bodily upkeep, and social tasks with DBT based spreadsheets for years but it eventually became exhausting. What it did do was give me a solid framework to redesign spiritual practices that work for me. Just use the software the human brain was developed alongside and use your processing power on things more useful than trying to feel smarter and more right about the universe, which is mostly just lying to yourself anyway.
You are not separate from humanity’s history…
I think it’s pretty narrow minded to say you have to believe in something to still have a connection to it. I know religions played a role in our history (often negative too). I like learning about this. I’m still connected to it. I just know it’s almost all bullshit. I can gain a lot from reading a sci-fi novel too without believing it’s real, for example.
Just use the software the human brain was developed alongside and use your processing power on things more useful…
I hold the opposite opinion. I think wasting out effort to please some supernatural thing is a waste of time and energy. This must be double true if you can’t even decide on which one it is, because they’re all mutually exclusive. I’ll just live my life trying to be a good person. It doesn’t cause me any extra effort to do.
…than trying to feel smarter and more right about the universe, which is mostly just lying to yourself anyway.
Wow, this sounds rude. When was I trying to feel smarter? More right? Sure, and probably true (almost every religion is mutually exclusive, and there’s a huge number of them, and most have been forgotten. The odds of you having the right one is effectively 0). I don’t think I’m smarter though. I just think I’m more honest. I don’t feel a need to lie to myself, or others, that I think there’s anything beyond nature. I’m perfectly comfortable and content with that reality. Death, and everything else in life, doesn’t bother me.
You use it to help you process it sounds like, which is fine. You do you. I don’t need that. For me it’d make things harder, not easier. Don’t assume we all work the same, because we don’t. I feel absolutely zero draw towards spirituality. To use your analogy, we’re running different OSs. I don’t think I’m superior for it like you seem to.
Check your local Unitarian Universalism (UU) branch.
https://www.uua.org/uuagovernance/committees/article-ii-study-commission/about-article-2
"Section C-2.1. Principles.
We, the member congregations of the Unitarian Universalist Association, covenant to affirm and promote
The inherent worth and dignity of every person;
Justice, equity and compassion in human relations;
Acceptance of one another and encouragement to spiritual growth in our congregations;
A free and responsible search for truth and meaning;
The right of conscience and the use of the democratic process within our congregations and in society at large;
The goal of world community with peace, liberty and justice for all;
Respect for the interdependent web of all existence of which we are a part."
…getting some very religious vibes from this text
I mean, the UU church is still a church after all, but without a lot of the toxic trappings. You aren’t going to get anyone telling you the only way to get to heaven is through Jesus for example.
https://www.uua.org/beliefs/what-we-believe/beliefs/christianity/views-jesus
"UUs may view Jesus as a moral exemplar, practicing the compassion, generosity, and mercy that he preached. In his own life and in stories like the Good Shepherd and the Good Samaritan, Jesus calls us to connect: to transcend pride and selfishness and choose instead to love and serve, to do good, and to care for each other.
For some, Jesus is a prophetic leader and an instrument of the divine. They may or may not believe Jesus was the son of God or was resurrected but share with Christians a conviction that his witness has the spiritual power to redeem mistakes and save lives. Many describe a personal relationship with him that strengthens and inspires. Jesus calls us to discover new life and truth by following him.
Others view Jesus as a reformer and dissident, an underdog and ally. He was executed as a political criminal because of his teachings, but his life made an impact, then and now. He called out injustice in his own community and in the government. He stood with and spoke up for the most vulnerable, and he challenged his followers to feed the hungry and visit the imprisoned. Jesus calls us to transform, to resist the unjust systems that divide us, and reshape them for good."
Personally, I wouldn’t be comfortable with any field of thought other than “Jesus was a literary fiction, constructed by the early church as a method of control over an illiterate populace.” but then that’s why I don’t go to church. 😉
Interesting, how you suddenly make that switch from some super abstract, nebulous nothingness to a lengthy framing of Jesus.
I don’t, it’s the UU folks, and each UU church is slightly different. You can see my personal opinion at the bottom. 😉
Thought I’d share that UU congregations I’ve been a part of really don’t like focusing too much on Jesus/Christianity, especially outside of the high Christian holidays. We even held an Earth Day service on an Easter Sunday because we have more members who identify with various varieties of paganism/wicca or are agnostic
I’m an atheist, and a UU church is the only church where I felt truly accepted and comfortable. Granted, this is in CO in a progressive area.
The minster was a lesbian woman, and her sermons were just stories about kindness and courage and connection. It was great.
I don’t think I have heard anyone mention god in the year I was there. YMMV.
I have a couple of friends who go to one of the UU churches in Dallas. I think maybe Roe came from it.
Fellow UU here, second checking them out. Wanted to emphasize that there’s no expectation to believe a particular religious text. Our services lately have been around the themes of practicing resistance (which can take many forms) and being resilient in the face of adversity. Our congregation celebrates holidays from most major religious traditions as well as secular holidays like Earth Day and Trans Day of Visibility. I’m also a big fan of the community volunteer opportunities and music program. Each congregation is a bit different based on the membership, here’s a link to find one near you. Many stream services on Zoom so you can check them out with very low commitment.
Yes, Quakers. They sit reflectively with one another instead of listening to services (generally speaking). Some don’t consider themselves religious
Some prominent non-theist Quakers out there, like Charlie Brooker, creator and head writer of Black Mirror and the various Philomena Cunk series Cunk On…
TIL, Charlie identifies as Quaker.
Been watching his content since Oink! Comics, highly approve.
Imagine if the west had been dominated by the quakers during colonialism, instead of the puritans, how different the world would be.
Interesting thought experiment. The thing is, Puritanism is older than Quakerism, I think. Oldest long term English Settlement in the region is Jamestown from 1607, but quakerism is 1657’-52. The Puritans had a head start.
I also get the feeling Catholics and the other protestant groups, who later settled in the USA in huge numbers, would have hated the hypothetical Quaker majority and done violence against them or driven them out.
Fun fact: Quakers were important advocates against slavery in the UK (presumably in the USA too), from its very inception.
Oh I know, and I understand why it didn’t work out that way. But imagine if it did.
Also yes, the quakers were also very anti slavery in the US. The quakers seem to be (from what I’ve read) on the right side of almost every issue the capitalist imperialist west has faced for as long as they’ve been around.
No corn or soy, just oats as far as the eye can see
Quakers run the spectrum. Some are just pacifist hippies and some, although they tend to be the older crowd, are still pretty theologically committed to being actively religious.
I would see if you have a Unitarian Universalist (UU) Congregation near you.
It IS technically a religion, but it doesn’t feel like anyone is trying to make you believe anything, is aggressively LGBTQIA+ friendly, and is also welcoming to all races and cultures (it is literally in their commandments to respect people regardless of creed or views, and respect their individual search for truth and meaning).
While people there are incredibly nice, welcoming etc…the big downside is that most people at UU churches are usually older. It’s got a lot of “old hippie” energy, which is great but they might have less younger people if you’re looking for people in your age group. You won’t really know until you visit your (hopefully) nearby congregation.
They do have traditional church services, with sitting at pews and singing hymns (a select hymnal with a lot of pagany hymns) and a sermon, but the sermon is always about philosophical things and thought provoking stuff, or more recently about current events. For example, when I went for my first time to a nearby church, the reverend spoke about her life growing up queer and everything the world did to make her feel like she didn’t belong.
If you can give the church format a chance, I can’t recommend it enough. A lot of the greatest most loving people I have met have been UU, and I still love and cherish them to this day.
Sorry if this is too churchy for what you are looking for. I would say if you’re pretty liberal/leftist and you want to find groups that do/talk about stuff like that you can often find those connected to UU churches in some way and they’ll never pressure you beyond “oh we hope you will stay, we love to have you” and things like that.
I am going to attend my local UU church. After reading all the comments and learning about it I am also a social worker and I think it sounds absolutely beautiful, and I love old hippies! I am not old (millennial) but I will be someday and so that’s okay with me. I am not religious but I deeply respect everyone else’s right to their own life journey and I see the beauty in everyone. I was reading the pocket book and it resonates a lot for me. Imho, the slogan / motto could be “don’t be a dick” in simplified form so it seems which is pretty rad!
I hope you have a good one near you! I met many social workers at UU churches.
Good luck!
The young adult and youth experience in the UU church was pretty great. Less church-y, more interactive. I made a lot of good friends when I was younger there.
Thank you.
I knew a Unitarian. He described going to church as more like a weekly potluck.
There are also local political clubs you could look into as they will be focused on local community issues.
I just started going to a Unitarian Universalist church. I grew up Catholic and couldn’t stand it. Instead of reading from the Bible or talking about God they are reading words from civil rights activists and talking about how to build community and resist ICE. I really have been enjoying this as a way to actually get out of the house and connect with people with similar values. This Sunday I signed up to help in their garden planning for this season too.
Rotary (or Rotaract depending on your age) may fill that niche for you? It’s been pretty good for me, personally, and has a huge focus on connecting with and doing good in your local community.
I was going to recommend this as well. My local rotary club is vibrant and relatively young (some aren’t) and we do a lot of volunteer work. It’s intentionally apolitical and secular.
So you’re not religious. You just want the community? How about joining a club. Something that interests you. It’s an opportunity to meet like-minded people with whom you should get along.
