Do feel nervous though, put off dating for the reason that I’ve no job. If this falls into place then I feel like I can try my hand dating and stuff, I’ve been feeling like my life’s been on hold long enough. That’ll be another phase to get through and I won’t stop the self discovery/improvement stuff but it’s something to look forward to. This year sucked for me but next year will be my year I know it.

Haven’t painted my nails in a bit and for the best, got an interview tomorrow and I gotta look not too hot to intimidate the interviewers. I’ll give it a month if I get in to secure my position before I get back to it, maybe finally get some high end nail polish and not the dollar store stuff I find.

My mom had a dream I transitioned and she got me a purple dress, she told me she cried with how beautiful I looked.

I still need to finish it tbh, it definitely gets underrated imo

I remember jumping into the trans coffin in dark souls 2 and never noticing the effect since I was always beef jerky in armor was in for a surpise when I used an effigy and changed armor

Learning the term gender envy pretty cool, after I learned I’m pan there was still something missing when I tried to describe my attraction to some people. Normally I’m pretty but maybe I should have some thoughts especially when it means taking a more active participation in my identity (by maybe I mean I should). As much as I might lament never having been in a relationship it’s on me to figure some stuff out first

I can see this for other emotions too like searing amount of pain just going 😩 idk having to perform the right things to get across to other people how I feel is tiring.

There’s something about replying with 🤣 with a stone cold face that really gets me, really just the bypass of not having to actually laugh while conveying the mood is so up my alley with how meh I feel sometimes.

Tears of joy are wild, had some yesterday after a lot of realizations and how effortless they poured out felt nice. I’m used to crying being an effort thing that makes me feel better but exhausted but yesterday they just flowed. One day I might run out of the sad ones but the joyful ones I think I’ll never will.

I’ve seen enough speedrunning vids to know E is a Performance-enhancing substance, I’m more of a completionist but I can respect the strat all the same.

I’d get into the salty spitoon easy I just don’t fw places that have health code violations. You could find me at super weenie hut jr’s instead

very much a finger guns in mirror day. Brushed my teeth, washed my face, shaved and a dab of aftershave also noticing face more angular with my weight loss. Probably gonna do a light work out, eat then head out for the day

Used to not like my curly hair since no matter how long it got it still felt the same length on my back but I found something I quite like, my sideburns sometimes get these little curls that look like horns and make me feel all 😈

I know the feeling. never realized until know that it was internalised ableism. I can get pretty intense myself and embarrassed afterward guess it a reason I grew up pretty stoic around people I didn’t really trust.

It be cool working in the Woke factory, I’d go in day in day out and be making genders with my big hammer. I’d get sweaty and tired but I’d be happy knowing I’d be doing proud

Hell yeah unbridled joy is soo much fun, it can be overwhelming but with how rare it is I try to enjoy it and glad you like it too

that’s rough on both parts on the feeling bad and not finding other peeps to talk to. I do hope you find peeps in both venn diagrams to hash stuff out.

“I have no game and I must rizz” to “I have no rizz and I must game” was my way to self acceptance 😑 que sera sera

My mom keeps using “mijas” to refer to me and my sibling, be processing how I feel about it. I don’t know I feel like I don’t mind being called mijo or mija as much since it’s in spanish and I got different feels for it than english. Even outside of talking to us both, she’s also just used mija on me and unless I say something she doesn’t correct/notice it. Don’t know if anyone else has notice different feels in regard to gender in other languages what with the feminine and masculine pronouns for stuff.