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Cake day: March 23rd, 2024

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  • Sometimes I let myself think about life before “civilization”:

    The stories of flocks of migrating birds numbering in the millions, darkening the skies for more than a day.

    The plains with an ocean of waving grasses that sustained millions of buffalo, and the symbiotic chain of animal life that thrived in their wake.

    The thousands of waterfalls that cascaded into freely flowing rivers and sustained riparian zones filled with vertebrates and insects.

    Forests full of trees that were thousands of years old, sheltering the abundant wildlife.

    I think of fireflies and bees and the absence of machine sounds, and I kinda wish I could go back in time to just … prevent hominins.







  • “The building or someone is on fire”

    When I was working in property management, certain people would frequently call me in the middle of the night for what they considered emergencies. They’d wake me up because a stove burner wouldn’t heat, or a lightbulb was out, or they just remembered that a door creaks. This shit got old real fast, so I began training the night callers that “emergency means Fire, Flood, or Death”.

    One man was unfazed by my Fire, Flood, or Death mantra, so every time I saw his number ring in, I just shouted into the phone FIRE FLOOD OR DEATH? FIRE FLOOD OR DEATH?!



  • A relatively unbiased answer to your questions:

    FACTS

    ICE does not distinguish much between applicants who have completed high school and applicants with college education. Like the US military, most applicants do not have college degrees.

    The lengthy application process and rigorous training historically rejects over 70% of prospective agents.

    Training is at an academy with mandatory residence requirements. It’s 40 hours a week for 18 weeks and includes physical fitness, Spanish language, defensive maneuvers, de-escalation techniques, extensive federal law, weapon skills, and cultural training. There are several exams, and many new hires don’t complete training. Everyone has to be pepper-sprayed in order to understand how serious it is, and it is emphasized that use of force is always a last resort.

    After graduation, new ICE agents serve a one year probationary period while being paired with a seasoned agent, for a more effective means of training.

    OPINION

    There is a hierarchy within federal law enforcement agencies; generally speaking, ICE agents are the least respected. The recent behavior of ICE agents is absolutely a reflection of the Trump administration.

    https://www.ice.gov/doclib/about/offices/ero/pdf/ice_d_handbook.pdf