I’m not taking any chances, nothing is leaving that room. Your sacrifice will be honored, spider plant.

Sounds like an opportunity for arbitrage

How do you feel about Sexual Harassment Panda?

Why? As with most awful things in America, the answer is Ronald Reagan.

Quite true. Somewhere in the world is someone who talks like Pauly Shore because he learned English from watching Bio Dome

Would be funnier if it said “big bathroom” not “bathroom companies”

According to Trump this violates consumer protection laws and you can sue for a billion dollars.

TLDR: Canada is better than that

Thomas and Alito would vote to uphold it.

I can’t understand why the markets would go up on this news. Didn’t Trump say the tariffs were bringing trillions of dollars into the US?

Super easy. Did they commit a crime? Pardon. Did they not commit a crime? Arrest

He’s an enormous criminal and possibly one of the worst human beings alive today. And even he doesn’t deserve to be treated that way.

What wine pairs with faces?

Maybe he will fire all of them. It is his go to move.

In 2016, it was embarrassing. This is something far worse, and far more dangerous.

Florida is America’s wang. You know it, I know it, and the American people know it.

We will be incredibly lucky if we come out of this will only a recession.

Someone is going to exploit this to make a great lesbian dating app

Trans people are immortal?