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Joined 2 years ago
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Cake day: July 14th, 2023

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  • I am childfree 33, childfree both by choice and by economic circumstances. I have a intense aversion towards baby’s, doesn’t mean others shouldn’t get them. I used to think that instead of having kids, I could just be the cool uncle that babysits sometime. Turns out I really dislike babys. So, probably should never get my own.

    Sometimes I get tempted by the wish, but then I am reminder that I prefer the risk of regretting not having children, then risking regretting having children. And while I do subscribe to the anti-natalist worldview, that only should dictate my actions, not those of other people.

    I am very lucky to have a partner who is also childfree by choice.





  • Ik vrees een beetje dat de tijden van Einstein voorbij zijn. Destijds was het ‘makkelijker’ (je moest nog steeds slim zijn) om iets nieuws te ontdekken.

    De ontdekkingen van vandaag de dag zijn meer kleine stapjes in plaats van grote sprongen. Detail werk wat belangrijk is maar weinig spannend of individueel baanbrekend. En dat is prima.

    Echter, ik heb er ook geen bal verstand van, dus ik word graag gecorrigeerd als ik het verkeerd heb.




  • Emotional problems often require solutions that work on the emotion level. In my experience, trying to self it yourself sets you up to try to solve it with rationality. But that often does not work, because the problem is not rational in nature.

    This is where a therapist helps. It helps you to solve the problem at the emotional level. That is something a person cannot do by themselves. Asking for help is way easier than trying to do it all yourself.

    I personally benefit a lot from https://healthygamer.gg/ as a stopgap measure. I still needed actual therapy, but this helped me through the rough times.










  • I mean, I would technically still be welcome there. But no longer believing does mean I can’t really feel connected with that group. And thus losing community. Maybe “trapped” was a strong word to use here, but trying to discuss the flaws was just met with equally flawed arguments. Just look up the “five mindfulness trainings” from plum village and it should be easy to see how they can become problematic when followed to the letter.


  • I have been on both sides on this. I was trapped in a Buddhist group. Considering that the teachings where flawed or wrong would basically mean that I would lose out on that community. Believe me, the sense of belonging can be euphoric in a religion.

    Of course, changing your view in isolation is quite easy. It becomes harder when a big part of your life requires you to believe.

    Also, when I was younger my need to “be right “ was quite strong. I had severe self confidence issues, so “being right” was the one thing I latched on to. Admitting being wrong gets really hard once your self confidence is that shaky.

    I am doing much better now.