Transcription
A Twitter post from Matt @mattxiv with a text that reads “sometimes when i’m bored i wander into the weird parts of etsy to see what straight people are up to.” The picture below shows a hand holding a keychain with a penis-shaped cutout that says “Thanks for not pulling out!” There are 3 sperm-shaped cutouts attached with the names Ryver, Brynlee, and Emersyn.
lemmy discovers dirty jokes
Just yells mallcruiser “trashy.” Saddling kids with messed up name spelling, trashy dick and sperm keyrings(?), plus a trashy comment on the inability to figure out how to stop popping out kids (though that’s probably
dicktongue in cheek).What is it with Americans needing to put Ys and Xs where they don’t belong?
I have no idea. I’m just as mystified by this.
Reminds me of this scene from LA Story which is a 33 year old movie now.
We’re not all like that. And the rest of us mock them mercilessly.
I know you’re not all like that. My partner is American and none of our brood has names like that but her siblings both have children with unnecessary Xs and Ys in their names.
We gotta be Unyq at all costs
😢
I have met 2 La-a’s (pronouced: Ladasha / Latasha)
Part of me hopes this is both tragic and clever in that something happened to Lapasha, and the next will be Laquasha, but somehow I doubt it.
good lord. Straight-up pun names
I just understood the prononciation for the first 🤢 / dash.
Well branle (branler / branlé) is french slang for either getting a beating or wanking so maybe thats “y”.
The proliferation of the letter Y is a danger to our democracy
In french we call it “greek i”, so considered a danger to democracy is especially ironic. I suspect that was on purpose, but cannot tell for sure
I’m sorry. Emersyn? Sounds like someone wanted to spell Amazon.
There’s actually another company that’s even closer, Emerson. They make shitty walmart tvs and other electronics.
Or amazing.
deleted by creator
There’s so much wrong with this.
Firstly, pulling out isn’t birth control.
And shouldn’t what you do together be consensual, so why thank him after the fact, as if you didn’t know if he’ll pull out or not?
And one sperm does not represent one child.edit: there’s a very creatively named sub on reddit that deals exclusively with over-the-top kids names, if only I could remember it. The names seen here are harmless in comparison.
Why are you taking a gag gift so seriously?
It wouldn’t be funny if it didn’t subvert expectations by being ridiculous.
It’s called Tragedeigh
Ah, thanks. That one doesn’t even have a Y in it, but there were plenty of running jokes how to turn every name into a tragedeigh with a few simple tricks, including Ys.
It makes more sense as a Father’s Day gift, where the kids are thanking him for not pulling out. (Which is not birth control.)
But then it’s even more disgusting.
And oh god the names of the kids.
The letter Y is sometimes a consonant, and sometimes a vowel, so they probably got a good deal on them. Or we’ve found the Time Travelers, and they were most recently in Maedeval Englynd. I have no better explanations. Also, pulling out is NOT birth control.
They could’ve gone with “thanks for not cumming in mom’s chocolate starfish that night”
A friend of mine once told someone that their dad should have pulled out and cum in their mother’s eye…but he was too cheap to pay for it. To this day it remains one of the most savage things I’ve heard IRL.
And one sperm does not represent one child
This is such a common trope and I hate it so fucking much
🎶 every sperm is sacred 🎶
Knowledge of sperm teamwork is a threat to individualism.
I’m confused. Are you saying multiple sperm fertilize an egg? Or are you just upset that the egg is left out of the equation?
The latter. A sperm only provides 50% of the genetic information
Howany sperm do you think it takes to fertilize an egg?
Also, you’re ignoring the most egregious part of this, which is the childs’ names.
Ryver
Fucking weird man. Some people can’t stop thinking about their dads semen and their mom’s uterus.
What if he did but his pull out game is weak AF?
It me lol
Imagine a trauma-free enough childhood to want to thank someone for griefing you with life.
I can’t.
!2meirl4meirl
but are you ready for Jizzy Jewelry?
Missed opportunity for “welcum”.
This has to be a joke.
It is. A trashy joke.
