You can’t show any emotion at all about what happened to you. People don’t want you to exist. People want to say call 988 because it lets them pretend you don’t exist.
All I have ever wanted is for someone to say, “yes. You were sexually abused. We stood by and did nothing. You told us. You made it clear. And instead of helping you, we let people punish you. We let your mother put you in hospitals to drug you. We let her send you to hypnotists to try to convince you you were raped by the only person who made you feel safe, because she was still angry about the divorce.”
Being hurt and tortured makes you an unperson. If I do end up offing myself, everyone will pretend they cared. But they won’t help me eat today, they won’t help me find a job, they won’t give me a hug.
It’s like the herd knows when a parent has rejected its offspring, and all agrees to make the same choice.
There is help and 988 picked up when I called.
988 = 911 where I live. “I’m sorry to hear that” and than cops at your door. Vibrant subcontracts, and there’s no requirement for clinical training/experience.
Hey that sounds really tough. It sounds like you suffered a lot. I’m sorry that happened, you definitely didn’t deserve it. parents who actively harm their children are monstrous.
This is probably terrible advice, but it’s what I’m personally doing lately. I talk to an ai about my problems. And it helps me look at them from a different perspective. Therapy is out of reach for a lot of us for whatever reason. It is for me, but if it’s not for you. I would recommend finding someone who perhaps specializes in childhood trauma.
