First off, your tapeworms. Yeah, you really should’ve refused your friend’s pork chop. Next, your excess body fat. Next, your extreme aversion to feeling hunger. Everyone with a healthy lifestyle feels what you’d call “starving”, like, 2/3rds of the day. Now, your cancers. Yes, plural. Lung, skin, and colon. Pro tip: wear gloves even if your employer doesn’t provide them. Also, wear sunscreen. Next on the list… checks notes ah, yes. Done. What did I do? Do you remember what your nightmare last night was about? Yes, you had a nightmare. Excellent, anti-trauma neural circuit lobotomy was a success.
Wish one: *points at the dumpster fire I am* fix this.
Now I have 16 wishes to fuck around with.
You are now a potatoe no feelings no worries but you are “fixed”
I don’t need the other 16 wishes anymore.
“You might want to get a pot of coffee going, we’re going to be here all night.”
FuckThank you, GenieNo no no inflation
There aren’t actually more, they’re just less powerful
‘you know what, i’ll even let you undo a couple. you’re probably going to regret those first few eventually.’
I’m in this meme and I don’t like it
I’m verbose enough that I would spend an exorbitant amount of time crafting the perfect one wish.
At least I’ll have 16 do-overs lol.
Relevant sketch.
